2009 wrapped up as follows. Pretty much had a nervous breakdown moving here to Arkansas! Woke up one morning and realized.....HOLY CANNOLI....I live in Arkansas! I think it truly hit me when Zachary started to speak and he had a southern twang to his voice! My little California boy!
I have not blogged in so long , I feel like I might explode, so this will be a doozy!
Brace yourselves......
Let's first start by getting all the negative hoopla out of the way....
For Lent this year I gave up obsession, and for all of you that know me, this was a hard task to tackle. Every day it's a struggle, because I have SO MANY!!!!! I couldn't work on one thing in my life, like giving up chocolate or wine, or cigarettes, those were sacrifices that were not going to get me to Heaven, no, during Catholic Schools Week, I learned a valuable lesson... DISCIPLINE; it's an area I'd like to work on in my life, and the most troublesome part of that soul defining factor was my obsession. So to show you the growth, I have to take you back to where I left off, some 6 months ago.....
August 2009: Recked my car, got a new job, completed my classical album back in California, gained about 5 pounds, Celebrated Zachary's 1st Birthday, Drove to Tennessee and met my sister with her 4 kids ~ my 2 kids and took an impromptu road trip to surprise my parents for their 40th wedding anniversary.
September 2009: Began to become a recluse, gained another 5 pounds, really started to resent moving to Arkansas!
October 2009: Zachary was sick about 5 times. Landon was sick about 5 times, but Halloween was fun, found some great places to eat, gained another five pounds, became even more depressed, had no idea why we moved to Arkansas! Went to my first Razorback game...WOO-PIG SOIEE! yeah, this was weird.... missing California in a major way...
November 2009: Landon got pneumonia, Mike decides it's time to get me out of my funk, we join a weight loss clinic, I lose 5 pounds. Thanksgiving....Mike's parents come, first time I start to enjoy this place....we take the kids on the "Polar Express".... the Holidays are definitely lifting my spirits......
December 2009: My Christmas show at school was a success, I am starting to feel like myself again! I feel like I can breathe. Vacation is around the corner.....Kids are sick again... I am sick again...I lost 15 pounds... we drive to Ohio.....I get into a car accident.....Landon falls and smacks up his face in the ice, Zachary gets his first black eye sledding, Landon turns 4, we celebrate New Years at home, all in all...it's been a pretty good year....
January 2010: A friend of mine passes away, The kids are sick again, School is closed for a week due to a snow storm, I finally make some friends, I finally go out with some friends, I am starting to feel like this place is not as bad as I thought....great, I am actually starting to like my little small town... hoping I am not developing a southern twang! Celebrate my birthday....Mike buys me a plane ticket to FRANCE!
February 2010: Flies by....lost another 10 pounds...brings it up to a total of 30! Now I have to go and buy all new clothes since I have given away all my clothes seeing as I had convinced myself in California I'd never get below a 6, and here I am at a 2!...... Mike is even skinner, he's like.....well...let's just say...skinny.....we both have lost a sense of sensibility at this point...he buys season tickets to the Kansas City Royals, He's nicking out for some baseball...I tell him great, that means we are moving again, 'cause every time he buys season tickets, we move...
Actually this month has been pretty tame, we met REBA, had dinner at the Melting Pot, I joined a Bible Study....Mike is soaring at his job.....kids are loving school....
March 2010.....Mike got into a car accident, had a gas leak in the house, kids are sick AGAIN, I had a little Medical scare, but my tests came back OK, they are going to watch me over the next couple of months....we got some new neighbors that we actually like....the kids get along great.....and the month isn't even over yet....I head out to France, Mike heads out to Florida, we get his car back, Landon gets his first Power Wheels "Jeep", Going to see "Black Eye Peas", Having dinner at the Melting Pot again, lost another 2.6 pounds!....starting to feel like this is home for now....starting to feel settled...
So there it is... my nutty, crazy life in a nut shell. I can't believe I woke up one morning and realized I am living in this tiny town, somewhere in the middle of the United States. But, things I've learned....You can't judge a book by it's cover, since I've opened myself up to allow myself to meet people and allow myself to give this place a chance, I have been able to see the beauty of this place, and I don't mean in just physical sense. I mean in the people, the aura, the essence. Big things really do come in small packages. And while I still find myself being myself, and knowing sometimes I may not quite fit in...it's OK, that's what makes us all different and unique. I have come to the realization that being different is certainly OK. I don't have to be the same to fit in, I just have to be myself. And it wasn't until I came to that realization that I started to fit in, and feel like I had a place to call home.
No one asked me to take the city girl out of me....so this pressure I had been feeling to lose her, was nonsense, insecurities, and stupidity! And it was for those reason I realized that for lent I needed to do some soul searching with-in myself, to change the things within me that made me the outsider, the one who didn't fit in, not because of where I was from, but because of my own insecurities! So...here I am...just a city girl....finding she likes it here in the Ozarks, just fine!
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