First week: We sit in the first row, kids are great, Priest takes notice!
Second Week: Late to mass, baby is throwing a fit I proceed to the cry room and spend half the time trying to calm him down. I take out my prayer book and the girl next to me asks if I've managed to actually do all 15 prayers of the "Pieta" everyday. I tell her no, just trying to get through my eucharist prayers. We talk, exchange numbers and manage to set up an "unscheduled" playdate with the kids!
Week Three: Landon is ridiculous! Not wanting to sit down, stays in the cry room. I finally introduce myself to the priest because he's been eyein' me the past couple of weeks and before the words come out of my mouth he asks my name and where I'm from, clueing me into the fact that he knows I'm new.
Week Four: I attempt to try to sit in the front again hoping things will go better this time, I see the girl from a couple of weeks ago but I'm not sure she saw me, or did and decided to stay away, who knows... Kids come back from "Little Church", and Landon wants to go up to the Altar with them to give money, but Mike and I look at each other and actually realize neither one of us have any. We are more disappointed in ourselves because of the look on Landon's face. No sooner is this moment taken away by the two boys (obviously brothers) who run up to the altar, run around the altar, throw money into the basket on the altar, take the money out, throw it at each other, run around the altar again, JUMP off the steps of the altar, tackle each other on the ground, and proceed to wrestle on the steps of the altar...and YES, mass is still going on! Priest nervously continues with the consecration, and no one is owning up to whose kids these are. I look at Mike and tell him I think our kids are "angels" this week! He didn't quite approve! But agreed they shined in comparison.
It's now Monday: I really don't know how things can get any more strange. But I realize I have a Doctor's appointment and am really dreading it from the last time I went. Landon is sitting so nicely, the boys are great, the doctor is even complementing them on how well behaved they were today.
(WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS UTTERLY...well you decide).
A light switch, that's all I have to say. Landon decides to use the stir-ups for the ob/gyn exam as a train whistle and brake, back and forth, with the "whoo-whoo" sounds and all. To the point where they are now in a position I hope no woman ever has to be in, and looking at this contraption like this is freaking me out. My 11 month old decides to start screaming his head off and climbs out of the stroller. With a tilt of the head he literally jumps out of his seat and flies across the room just in time to catch Landon whose head is about to hit the ground because he was standing in the stroller on his tippy toes trying to reach the hand sanitizer. I guess out of fear Landon proceeds to tell me he has to "pee", and low and behold there is a puddle on the floor about 1 inch from the doctor's shoes whose still holding his hand!
Landon is now in a diaper, totally naked in the stroller and as I walk out into the lobby to leave I run into my neighbor whose waiting to see the same doctor we just came from. I quickly give a waive, and say hi, she gets up to come say hello and I motion "I've got to run", she didn't look too happy, but I was in no mood to explain why my 3 year old is out in public...naked!
We get in the car, I take a deep breath and realize the best thing is to go home and just stay there!
I'm not sure if these moments are helping us to fit in, or roll us right out. Lord only knows that I am overwhelmed to find out!
(to be continued....)
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